


Outta My Hair

by WritingFicariously



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Big Hair, Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship, Drinking, F/M, Hair, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Fluff, Long Hair, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ron Weasley, One Shot, Out of Character, Potions, Random & Short, Scents & Smells, Short One Shot, Sweet, TINY - Freeform, Weirdness, curly hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29772255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingFicariously/pseuds/WritingFicariously
Summary: Draco should have known better than to drink something from Luna Lovegood, but how was he to know Ron was only the bearer of botched potions?A crack-fic that probably makes no sense but a small Draco Malfoy is a cute Draco Malfoy.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Ron Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Outta My Hair

**Author's Note:**

> This is how this came to be - someone asked for art ideas, I said I wanted to see Draco Malfoy get lost in Hermione's hair, and then I realized I meant that literally.
> 
> I don't own anything of the "Harry Potter" franchise but I do own a highly questionable thought process and a tiny Edward Cullen.
> 
> This has not been looked at by a beta. All mistakes are mine. It is what it is.

* * *

Draco’s head was pounding when he opened his eyes, squinting at the beams of sunlight that invaded the bedroom. He wondered briefly if Hermione hated him so much last night that she had left the curtains parted, then realized he didn’t even remember seeing her before falling asleep.

He was having a hard time remembering much once arriving at the Manor, if he was being honest.

The last thing he actually remembered was taking a glass from Ron, clinking it in cheers, and downing the weirdly-colored but fruity-tasting concoction. Ron had spluttered next to him and said something along the lines of “I always trust her to give a good drink. I should know better by now, eh?”

Her.

_Her._

Draco groaned, having a good idea who had given Ron the drinks last night and cursing the gods.

Luna.

Luna bloody Lovegood.

Luna who liked to experiment with herbs from Neville’s garden - not a euphemism, or at least, he hoped not. Luna who really was brilliant but tended to forget when she was brewing something if something else caught her attention.

“Stupid Weasley trusting her,” he murmured. 

Draco froze. That didn’t sound like his voice. It was much more high-pitched than usual. A voice-altering potion, then? He pursed his lips and thought about it. 

“Hermione?” he tried. It was still a tinny sort of sound - definitely something voice-altering.

Possibly also something that messed with his body temperature because he was warm, _extremely_ warm, and that wasn’t usually the case this early in the morning.

Unless…

He looked down to see if he had even changed out of his clothes from the previous night. He did actually see himself still wearing his coat - and why was his tie still on? But more importantly, he realized one major thing that he hadn’t in the ten minutes since he’d first woken up.

He was the size of a fucking fairy.

Or a wasp.

Or a quail egg. Well, maybe he was bigger than that.

“Hermione!” he yelled his girlfriend’s name in a panic. He looked to his left and saw what seemed like a mountain of grey. He struggled to get on his feet - at least he wasn’t wearing his shoes still - and cautiously made his way over to Hermione. He reached out, moaning at the size of his hands, and grabbed onto the sheets. When he pulled, they didn’t move, and he frowned.

“Hermione!” he tried again, louder this time. He tugged in frustration. “Granger, wake up!”

There was a snuffling sound and then Draco let out a tiny screech and jumped backwards when her body shifted and he saw grey sheets start to come toward him.

“Hey!” he yelled, affronted. “I am right here!” He stomped his foot, but his sheets were slippery and his equilibrium was off, so he ended up on his bottom. 

Hermione wasn’t waking up and her arm flopped over to his side of the bed. Her hand patted the area for a bit before laying still, palm up. Draco crossed his arms in a pout as he stared, racking his brain for an idea. Well, clearly she couldn’t hear him but maybe if he was closer, that could help.

Gingerly, he got back on his feet, and walked over to Hermione’s hand. He grabbed onto her fingers and stepped into the cradle of her palm. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to make his way up her arm normally, so he got down on his hands and knees and slowly started crawling up her wrist to her forearm. He frowned at the criss-crosses he saw before realizing he was staring at her cursed scar.

He made sure not to touch too much of it, unsure if she would feel any pain, but he paused at the “b” to press a tiny kiss on it. In case she _could_ feel it. He did it again at the curve of the second “o” because he felt guilty about the scar still.

He began to worry when he reached the inside part of her elbow. Her arm started to slope up and if he grabbed onto skin, he might pinch too hard. Muttering curses under his breath, he looked from her bare arm to the sheet covering her body. He could attempt to shimmy up arm - pretend it was a tree, maybe - or he could try to launch himself onto her body and use the fabric to help haul himself up toward her shoulder.

“Okay,” he hyped himself up, eyeing the space between Hermione’s arm and body. “Don’t fall, Malfoy, or you’ll have to do this all over again.” He breathed in deeply and got back to his feet, wobbling a bit in the crease of her arm. “One… Two…”

Hermione shifted again and Draco let out a shriek, dropping to his knees again and trying to wrap his arms around Hermione’s arm. His heart dropped to his stomach when she lifted her arm and turned on her side. Air whipped past him and he closed his eyes tightly. He opened one eye and with a prayer to Merlin, he leapt off her arm just as she settled into a new sleeping position.

When he landed, Draco couldn’t help but snicker. Hermione really _did_ have a nice chest, even when she was on her side and he was literally squished a bit between bouncy flesh and an arm. He wiggled his way out from her underarm - floral scents, thank Merlin - and pushed his palms against the side of one breast. He glanced up to make sure she was still sleeping and poked at the sheet-covered curve.

He paused. She was asleep so was this inappropriate? He looked back down. Probably no different than when he would wake her up by sliding a hand between her legs or when he woke up to her mouth on his -

“Let’s not think about that right now,” Draco told himself. He paused again before glancing down once more, this time to look at himself. Obviously, his entire body had shrunk but did he _really_ need to see how much his dick shrunk? “No,” he answered his own question. “Best to get on with this problem solving.”

Using the sheet Hermione still had wrapped around her body, he managed to make his way _almost_ to her shoulder. Deciding a little pinch was worth it, he grabbed onto her skin and hauled himself up to sprawl out over her shoulder. He did it in just enough time too, because she reached a hand up and swatted at the area he had just come from.

“Don’t move, don’t move,” he chanted as he slithered over her shoulder to her neck, belly flat against her body. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found a small space to tuck himself into between her neck and shoulder. 

But in his next breath, he froze.

Strawberries.

Jasmine.

And a touch of his favorite cologne.

Slowly, he leaned down and sniffed at the skin of her neck - a bit like a creepy tosser, he decided - but while he smelled the fresh floral scent of her body wash and his cologne, it wasn’t the scent he wanted to inhale. He eyed the brown and gold spirals of her hair and shifted his body forward to try to smell it.

That was it.

It was her _hair._

Draco wasn’t sure if it was because he was close - so close - to her hair at that exact moment that he felt himself getting lost in the heady and sweet scent, or if it was because he was so small that his sense of smell was working overtime, but he wanted nothing more than to get lost in her crazy tangle of curls. Without another thought, he shifted again to take another sniff, but he lost track of space at the same time Hermione grumbled and flopped onto her back again.

He let out a yell and grabbed onto bouncing curls so he wouldn’t fall back onto the bed and get crushed by his girlfriend’s shoulder.

Hermione let out a soft groan and Draco swung out right before her hand smacked the pillow where her hair was laid out.

Oh.

There was a pillow beneath him now.

Loosening his grip, he bounced lightly, stumbling only a bit once he hit the soft pillow. Way too soft, but that’s what Hermione liked. He began making his way from where he had tumbled toward Hermione’s ear.

“Oh no,” he let out when a foot got caught in one of the spirals of Hermione’s hair. He reached down to uncurl it but when he did so, he fell over, and it was suddenly like her hair came alive, twisting and turning to hold his body captive.

He realized Hermione was moving her head from side to side, murmuring under her breath.

Of _course_ she would be having a dream right now.

“Hermione,” he pleaded. “Hermione, wake up!”

She rubbed her head against her pillow, making her hair tighten around Draco. He pushed at the strands, which made the scent of fruits and florals waft over him. He couldn’t help but close his eyes and breathe in deeply. 

It really _was_ quite calming.

For a moment - maybe longer - Draco wondered if he could just fall asleep wrapped in Hermione’s hair. The way it twisted beneath him made it a bit like a hammock, if he thought about it, and maybe if he could lift himself just a little bit higher so his bum wasn’t on the pillow, he could make it swing.

“Focus, Malfoy, focus.”

Slowly, he took groups of her hair and unwound it from his body until he was, once again, free. He got back down on all fours and moved forward slowly, using his hands to clear a path before he crept forward. It seemed to take forever, but he soon found himself staring into Hermione’s ear. He stood up, using her lobe as a steadying device.

“Hermione?” he whispered. 

She didn’t move.

He grit his teeth and said a little louder, “Hermione.”

Still no movement.

Draco took a deep breath and reached out to grab some hair. Just in case.

“HERMIONE GRANGER, WAKE UP RIGHT THIS SECOND!”

Hermione shot up in bed. Draco yelled and held onto her hair tighter, swinging through her jungle of curls like that half-naked Tarzan-man in the Muggle film she made him watch. He thought about doing the same cry as the actor but decided he cared more about not falling to his death.

“Wha? Draco?” Hermione called for him sleepily, blinking when she realized he wasn’t in bed. “I could have sworn…”

“GRANGER,” Draco yelled again, but he wasn’t sure if she could hear him again. He may or may not have started swinging from curl to curl like that Tarzan-man. He probably would never admit it to her, but it was fun.

“Ow,” Hermione whimpered, bringing a hand to her head. It felt like something was pulling at her hair every now and again. She flattened her palm on her scalp, wondering if she should take a Pain Potion to stave off a headache. Beneath her hand, her hair pulled downward and she flinched.

“Hermione!” He lengthened out the vowels of her name.

Hermione frowned. She could have sworn she heard something - not quite a buzzing but something similar. When she felt a pull again, her eyes widened and she let out a shrill screech.

_Was there a bug in her hair?!_

Immediately, she began swatting at her hair, hoping the movement would dislodge whatever seemed to be stuck there. She hoped fervently it wasn’t something dangerous. During one of her swats, she felt something solid and very carefully cupped her hand around the object. She didn’t necessarily want to kill it, at least, not unless it turned out to be something nefarious.

As she brought her closed fist in front of her - after slowly pulling strands of her out, she could swear there was a sound that sounded like words coming from her hand. As if someone were speaking. 

She opened her hand.

And let out a high-pitched squeal.

“Hermione!”

Hermione stared wide-eyed at her hand. There, on his knees with his arms out to his sides, was her boyfriend.

“Draco?” she whispered in question.

“Hermione!” He huffed at her. “Can you hear me?”

She brought her hand up slowly, watching as the mini-Draco dropped to his stomach so he wouldn’t fall off. “Draco, what… How…”

Once her hand stopped moving, Draco lifted himself up to a standing position. He wobbled a bit, so Hermione brought her other hand up, holding out her index finger so he could hold onto it. He grinned at her, kissing the side of her knuckle in thanks.

“I thought you’d never wake up,” he said with a pout. “Look at me!”

“I’m looking,” Hermione responded. She brought her hand up a little higher so she could stare directly at him. “You’re very cute like this.”

“Malfoys are not _cute,”_ Draco argued. “We are attractive, gorgeous, regal. But we are not cute!”

“You’re not humble either,” Hermione muttered. 

“Hermione,” he whined.

She sighed. “How did this happen?”

“Luna Lovegood,” he stated.

“Luna?”

“She gave Weasley drinks last night. He gave me one. It was Luna.”

“Uh-huh.” She looked at him skeptically, then shrugged. “Well, let’s go find out then, shall we? Stay here,” she told him as she placed him back down on the bed. 

Draco plopped down with as much dignity as he could muster in his tiny self and watched Hermione leave the bed. The sheet fell behind her and he stared at her bum as she walked away. Merlin, it was beautiful. Big and beautiful and he suddenly felt the need to bite into a cheek. He wondered if she would let him.

“Hermione,” he said when she returned. He was disappointed when he saw she was wearing clothes now - a simple dress that still showed off her body, but clothes nonetheless. She raised her eyebrows at him in response. “Can I bite your arse?”

She spluttered and snatched him up in a loose fist. Draco spread his arms a bit and kicked his feet, almost like he was in a swim tube floating in their pool. Hermione brought him to eye level. “Excuse me?”

“Well, when you stood up just then, you were naked and I don’t know if I’ve told you often enough that you have a lovely arse. One begging for bites.” He snapped his teeth at her and she let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing? I’m being honest!”

“You’re just so adorable like this, Draco.” Before he could protest the word, she began walking out of the bedroom. “Come on. Let’s find out what’s going on with you.”

“Wait!” Hermione paused and looked at him. Draco suddenly felt nervous, a bit silly, but this was his one chance. “Could you put me on your shoulder? Closer to your… Closer to your hair?”

“My hair?” She was dumbfounded by the request.

Draco blushed and Hermione almost cooed over him. He cleared his throat. “It’s just that it smells very nice and well, I’m small.”

Against her better judgement, Hermione did him one better and brought him to the top of her head. Draco let out a happy sound and sat on her scalp. He looked around for a quick moment before he laid down and gathered chunks of her hair to wrap around himself. He tucked the edges beneath him and nodded in satisfaction.

Hermione had conjured a hand mirror and was aiming it at the top of her head. She blew out air. “Comfortable?”

“Yes.” He wiggled a bit. “You can move now.”

“Thanks ever so much,” Hermione muttered. She walked carefully out of the bedroom and into their shared office. “Are you getting down from there?”

“Mmm, no.”

Still holding the mirror, Hermione lifted it once more and rolled her eyes. Draco had somehow managed to burrow even more into her hair and with the way he had rolled onto his stomach, her curls now looked like Devil’s Snare attempting to suffocate him.

At least he looked happy. Somewhat.

Half an hour later, Luna Lovegood walked through the Manor’s Floo, with a tiny Ronald Weasley peeking out from between Luna’s boobs. He looked a little sick and when asked if he was okay, he managed to groan and say, “Floo. Spinning. No talking.”

“Luna,” Hermione said slowly.

She smiled peacefully at her friend. “It should wear off by tonight,” she said. “Exactly 24 hours from when they drank it.”

“What was it?” Draco asked from his perch atop Hermione. His voice was muffled from being buried in her hair. 

“I’m not sure, actually,” she replied. “I think there was a new blue-colored bean that I threw in at the last second while I was brewing some Skele-Gro. But there were also those crushed lavender petals and the morning dew. I didn’t count the drops though; it just sort of spilled in the cauldron.”

“Then how do you know it will wear off in 24 hours?” Hermione questioned.

Luna blinked. “Well, it took Ginny 24 hours to return to her regular size.”

Draco had been listening closely. Once he found out about the time, he listened closely to what she’d done. As usual, there wasn’t any rhyme or reason to her brewing errors. He sighed heavily.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked. She reached up to pat the top of his head while he continued to bury his face and inhale deeply.

“Sounds like you’ll never be able to brew this again, Lovegood.”

She wrinkled her forehead, as did Hermione. “Likely not. And I’m sure the patients would appreciate their bones regrow properly rather than have their entire being shrunk down to the size of a fairly large insect.”

“Why would you even wonder about such a thing?” Hermione asked.

Draco ignored the snickering that was coming from Luna’s chest. “Well, it’s just that it’s quite comfortable up here and you do smell quite nice. I would think it a nice change of scenery to get lost in your hair.”

“Whipped sod,” Ron shouted. Luna bopped him lightly on the head in consternation. “Hey!”

“Well, I might have a bit more left,” Luna said. “I could send some over.”

Draco scrambled to his knees, whispering apologies when Hermione yelped as her hair pulled harshly against her scalp. “Really?”

“Draco,” Hermione puffed out his name. She rolled her eyes when he scratched tiny nails against the top of her head. She could barely feel it but knew he was trying to get her to relax. “Honestly?”

Carefully, Draco detangled himself from the mess of curls. It took some time, during which Hermione levitated tea from the kitchen to offer Luna, who also broke off a piece of a chocolate biscuit that she handed to Ron. By the time Draco was free from his self-imposed prison of ties, he carefully slid down some of Hermione’s hair until he could jump to her shoulder. There, he slowly walked toward her ear and tugged. Hermione tilted her head.

“Just think of what we could try if I’m this small,” he whispered. He continued to tell her what he’d thought of while lounging on her head. Hermione blushed, coughed at one point, and felt her entire body warm. “We can try some tonight.”

Hermione cleared her throat and met Luna’s gaze. “Yes, right. If you have no need for the mangled potion, we’ll just… We’ll take what you can give.”

“All of it, Lovegood!” Draco clapped his hands gleefully. “Send it all!”


End file.
